Book Review: Set Boundaries, Find Peace

I was able to finish a summer read and thoroughly enjoyed it. The book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, opened my eyes to what boundaries truly are and how I could be better at implementing them in my life. The author, Nedra Glover Tawwab, also happens to be a well-known black therapist.

I highly recommend this book - I give it a 10/10! I found it to be an easy read.

Nedra began the book with her personal definition of boundaries:

Expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships.

I’d like to share my top 10 takeaways from the book. I hope this inspires you to give it a read.

  1. It’s our job to maintain the standard of how others treat us. Ask yourself - Are you allowing people to take advantage of you?

  2. Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable and it is not an uncommon feeling. Nedra encourages her clients to manage the negative feelings. She reminds readers that the short-term discomfort of setting a boundary is better than the long-term discomfort from boundaries being violated.

  3. Respond in the moment. Do not delay. If you remain silent, you can give off the impression that what they said or did is ok. It also can become harder to face if delayed from the first time the boundary is broken.

  4. Two helpful steps to successfully communicate a boundary:

    1. Be clear and straightforward with a calm tone.

    2. State your need or want and expectations or simply say no.

  5. You have to be OK with negative reactions from people after you state your boundaries. Don’t take it personally because people will do what they want. Their reaction is out of your control.

  6. When you’re questioned or pushed to rationalize your boundary in a negative way, keep it short, clear and less detailed.

  7. If your boundaries and requests are continuously violated, it is OK to consider cutting certain people off.

  8. If you’ve experienced codependency, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional neglect or physical neglect, you may have challenges with caring for yourself.

  9. If you don’t uphold your boundaries, others won’t either.

  10. Don’t be afraid to pick yourself, it’s OK!

Latest, LifestylePaige Drane#personaldevelopment, #bookreview, #goalsComment